Has there ever been something you desperately wanted? You wanted it so badly that you couldn’t sleep, eat, or think of anything else. Serious desperation. There is something desperate in my soul. A desperation I didn’t know I could feel. An area once completely unknown to me has come roaringly awake. My need, my desire is alive. However the satisfaction to fulfill the need is still out of reach. Left un-granted for the moment.
I now find myself in the process.
God works in both the miracle and the process.
Most of the time it feels like he chooses the process.
Theres this song I adore. It starts like this:
"In the process, in the waiting You're making melodies over me…” Shepherd- Bethel/Amanda Cook
It is the sweetest truth. He is making melodies. In the hearts longing and waiting. In the tears, in the joy. In the calling out, in the hope of things unseen. He is doing a greater work then the simple answer of a prayer. He is molding and shaping. He is making you ready for the answer in the waiting. Just because we become acutely aware of need does not demand the automatic provision. Sometimes theres a deeper need than just the initial need itself. A deeper longing. A deeper satisfaction that even the perfect answer, provision, miracle, healing, or situation won’t ever satisfy.
Our needs always reroute us back to Jesus. Our ever growing need for Him. It is this beautiful ebb and flow of seeking and finding him, in the deepest places, that is so special about the process he allows us to walk through. At the end, if we’ve done it with Him. We find the greatest answer. Him. Him deeper in our hearts and a soul at rest with the perfect answer. Matthew 5:3 (MSG) says it perfectly “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”
So I wait. I seek. I pursue. Him first. Then I ask for wisdom, for His vision, for His voice to direct my actions and movements.
I know He is good. This process has not been easy. I wish I was still completely ignorant to this deep need and desperation. It was easier that way. But it wasn’t better. In the moments drenched with tears and calling to Him I’ve found something sweet. Ive found a new part of Him. More grace. More mercy. More LOVE.
Whatever His answer is. Wherever this leads. I know its to a place of glory and honor. A place to choose Him above all other things. A place of rest. A place of the deepest satisfaction I can ever know.
As you go through the process and wait sweetest friend be patient. What is painful and hard today will be entirely worth it in the end…I haven’t seen the end yet either. But I trust the one who is complete and perfect. Trust Him. Don’t lose sight of Him. Listen and look for the melody of it all.
